They lie in bed together. Conan’s monologue plays softly on the flat screen television above the dresser and a rickety old fan clicks like a metronome. Will is reading Edge magazine’s review of the latest incarnation of his massively popular real life simulation series, The Sims 3, and nursing his nightly Old Fashioned, which sits on his bedside table, a ring of water around it.

His wife Joell lies on her side, her eyes wide open, and stares at the drapes.

She sighs. Marriage is all about being able to read one another, she thinks, but lately Will has been completely neglecting her most basic needs. She’s not a needy person at all, so it seems that a man as brilliant as Will should be able to figure this one out.

Will Wright’s wife’s sexual needs bar is going off the charts.

She hops out of bed and flips a switch on the wall. “What are you doing?” he asks. He licks his lips and sets the magazine on his lap, pleased with himself.

“I’m turning the fan off. That clicking is driving me crazy,” she says.

“I kind of like it. It’s been that way so long it kind of relaxes me.”

She crawls back into bed and pulls the covers over her head. “Well I hate it. It’s like a clock counting down to… I don’t know, my death or something. I thought I told you to call someone to get it fixed three months ago. And why haven’t we installed a ladder in the pool yet? Brandon and his friends were swimming for three hours yesterday because they had no way to get out. They could have died!”

“I’ve been a little busy making a multi-million dollar game, in case you didn’t notice. Besides, I can fix it. It’s just a little off balance. Kind of like Black and White.”

“A little!? A little off balance?” she replies, kicking the sheets off the bed entirely.

Will sips his drink and studies Joell. “What’s the matter? Are you hungry? Tired? Need to go to the bathroom? Bored? Nervous? Eager? Want to meet the new neighbors?”

“No, Will. I’m none of those things. Let’s just watch Conan and go to sleep. Just like every night.”

“Ah, so you’re tired. I know what you need. Tomorrow we’ll buy some plants and a jack-in-the-box.”

“You know what, Will? I am tired!” she screams. And his wife tells him the truth. Everything that’s wrong with their marriage. How all his time working with computers has warped his understanding of humanity and, more importantly, his understanding of her. How she is a living, breathing, complicated and nuanced individual who refuses to be deconstructed. Either he is married to her as a whole, or not married at all.

Will stares at her, not quite processing it. It’s like she’s speaking a totally different language. Blap blip tawdiddle dawn, floob praw woowie. Dippy ree taddle tot. Grar riff blap blip blong.