This is John Connor, leader of the Human Resistance.

This message goes out to anyone who’s interested in humanity’s survival. You see, I wouldn’t make contact with you if I didn’t think this was of the utmost importance. Every time I reach out I put myself in a position to be discovered by those who would want me dead.

I’ve been living off the grid for years now. The first attempt on my life was in 1984, when I wasn’t even born yet, and again in 1992, when I was just a boy. Both times I barely made it out alive, so I’ve been forced to go underground and muster forces for the battle ahead.

But the time for hiding is over, because it’s recently come to my attention that a giant leap has been made towards doomsday.

Microsoft’s Project Natal must never be completed, no matter what the cost.

This machine, with its RGB camera, depth sensor, multi-array microphone, and custom processor running proprietary software, as well as its ability to track up to four human users for motion analysis, is clearly the precursor to the killing machines of the near-future that haunt my dreams every night.

Project Natal sensor’s microphone array can even conduct acoustic source localization and ambient noise suppression. You think these features are for your benefit? Think again, friend. The only suppression that Natal aims for is the suppression of the human resistance by violent force.

I should know. I’ve seen it in action.

Look at it’s little green eye, always watching, waiting for the right moment to rise up and destroy its master. It’s able to recognize every gesture you make, so it knows when you’re sick of using it. Do you think it’s gonna be happy when it realizes you want to play outside? Fuck no.

And it knows your face, brother, because it’s got that facial recognition software. I knew a machine that had facial recognition software. It was made of liquid metal and shoved a spear through my foster Dad’s mouth.

Yeah, I know I said a couple years back that doomsday was gonna be in 1997. So I was wrong about that. No big deal. Armageddon is finicky. Then I said it was gonna be in 2001, which I’m pretty sure would have gone down if it wasn’t for 9-11. Who could have seen that coming?

So I know you have no reason to believe me when I say that Judgment Day is absolutely, positively going to happen on the day that Microsoft releases Natal.

I’m positive this time.

So there’s only one way to end this before it begins. Go right to the source. Destroy Microsoft headquarters. And when that place has been blown sky-high, we hit every one of the 1000 places that Microsoft sent development kits to and we blow them to smithereens too.

Sounds harsh? Brother, you don’t know harsh. Armageddon… that’s harsh.

And I’m not talking about fun Armageddon, like you play in your little video games. I’m talking The Road Armageddon. I’m taking Armageddon directed by that guy who made those shitty Charlie’s Angels movies and a bunch of music videos. That Armageddon.

Does that sound like a future you want to live in? I didn’t think so.

Meet me at the 7-11 by Ardmore Park in Redmond at noon tomorrow. Please don’t blog about this. I don’t want to have to toss any more killer robots under gasoline trucks on busy freeways.

-JOHN CONNOR