The news that nearly 25,000 gamers have pledged to boycott Left for Dead 2 moves quickly through the Valve Corporation headquarters in Bellevue, Washington. Within hours of the groups formation, an email detailing their various demands has been sent to Gabe Newell. He reads it on his office computer, one hand tapping the touch pad methodically and the other stroking the blade of an antique broadsword. His eyes are focused intently on the computer screen, his pale and puffy face showing no emotion.

He reads the manifesto aloud in a monotone voice:

“Significant content for Left 4 Dead 1 was promised, but never delivered. Left for Dead 2 is too bright to fit in with Left 4 Dead 1’s visual aesthetic. The community has lost faith in Valve’s former reputation for commitment to their game’s post-release.”

Mr. Newell rises from his seat, takes a sip from his Portal mug, and proceeds to hack his computer to pieces with his broadsword. He is completely silent as he does it, but the rage is palpable. After he has converted the three-thousand dollar machine into a pile of fine dust, he sits back in his chair and pulls a new one out of a desk drawer.

“Sorry,” he says. “That hasn’t happened since the whole Vivendi thing.”

There’s a knock at the door. Mark Laidlaw, the head writer on Half Life and Half Life 2, pokes his head in and assesses the damage. He looks a little like a bald Gordon Freeman. “I take it you saw the demands,” he says. He wrings his hands. “Pretty funny stuff, huh?”

Newell nods and wipes the remains of his old computer into the trash. Clearly, he doesn’t find it funny. “Sixteen maps, a new game mode, and two new campaigns. For free. That’s not commitment?”

Laidlaw steps into Newell’s office. His head is shiny with sweat. “You have to take this stuff with a grain of salt, Gabe–”

“I want their names!” Newell screams, raising an angry fist in the air and slamming it on his desk. His Combine Soldier bobblehead falls to the floor. “I mean… give me a piece of paper. I need to write something down. A memo. Give it.”

Newell scribbles passionately on the back of some concept art and hands it to Laidlaw, who turns pale upon reading it. “What about their families?” he asks.

“Do what has to be done, Mark. Valve doesn’t cater to the demands of maniacs. Even if there are twenty-five thousand of them,” Newell says with a flash of uncertainty on his face. Laidlaw nods and excuses himself from the room. Gabe Newell has spoken. The conversation is over.

Later that day, Newell goes on record with Kotaku to address the issue. He reaffirms his company’s commitment to continued updates and new content for their games. Deep inside, he wonders why Spielberg can do two movies a year no problem.

Hardcasual contacted Agent of Chaos one of the members of the boycott group to get his reaction to Newell’s comments. He preferred to keep his real name anonymous.

“Frankly, the way Valve has dealt with this situation is appalling. It takes a cohesive community to make a game like this work. It also takes people like me speaking up against injustice wherever it may be found. I mean, in a way, I’m the biggest Valve fan of all. I’m not afraid to keep them in check whenever they make a wrong move, regardless of the fact that I’m completely in the dark about 90 percent of what is going on there. But I wouldn’t be in the dark if they would just tell me everything I want to know about the game immediately!”

When asked why he feels Valve owes him anything, Mr. Chaos was silent for a moment.

“We’re not whiners. We are reaching out to Valve to work together with them! What the…? I have to go. Someone’s at my door. Who could it be at two in the morning?”