Great Court Cases in Video Game History
Thursday, 04/29/10

While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.

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Deathmatch Devolves into Thought-Provoking Conversation After Dylan Thomas Poem Found Graffitied at Spawn Point

Friday, May 22, 2009

dylanthomasdeathmatch

They never saw it coming. Last night, right after a 2AM episode of M.A.S.H. ended, twenty-six gamers who had no plans for the evening but to get high and kill each other over and over again inadvertently stumbled into a thought-provoking conversation about life and death that changed their lives forever.

The poem “Among Those Killed in the Dawn Raid was a Man Aged One Hundred” by Dylan Thomas was found graffitied on a wall directly across from a key spawn point. Players recall seeing the poem and feeling a strange desire to read it.

“I think it has somethin’ to do about how one death can be meaningless and stuff in the face of so much meaningless,” said Fidobito, who scored over thirty kills with only grenades and a hunting knife.

“Did you even read the fuckin’ thing, idiot?” countered DDwoodsman, who had the most assisting points until the poem was discovered. “It’s about how fantastic it is when someone lives long enough to die at an old age and shit, instead of gettin’ killed in a raid.”

The poem is a war poem that was written by Thomas while he was living in war-torn London, where he experienced many deadly Luftwaffe bombing raids. It was published in 1946 in the volume Deaths and Entrances. No one in the deathmatch had any fucking idea who graffitied it.

“I just wish whoever’s tag this is will tell us what the hell is going on,” said Babyduck211. “I would really like to get back to not thinking.”