-Sony, eager to reclaim the console thrown, will reveal over two-dozen exclusive titles, none of which will be scheduled for release before 2013.

-Microsoft will reveal a portable device that rivals the processing power of the Xbox 360. Fans and journalists alike will be wildly impressed until they realize it’s not an iPod.

-Nintendo will announce new titles for the Zelda and Pikmin franchises, an improved online UI and Mother 3 as a free download for DSi’s early adopters. Fans will respond with eye rolls and disappointed groans.

-Reggie Fils-Aime will order a coffee from a local café. The drink will arrive lukewarm causing him to calmly ask that the cup be emptied and refilled with warm coffee. He will still pay for the coffee, but not leave a tip.

-Hideo Kojima will wake up sobbing in his hotel suite, but not know why. Months later, he will move to the country to live the life he always wanted.

-Peter Moore will crack a joke to his fellow EA peers about the “perverts snapping pics of booth women,” however, he will go out of his way to continually pass the Namco booth, culminating with his removal from the show floor after being caught lowering his cell phone camera below an attendants skirt. The attendant will agree not to press charges in return for Moore’s promise to return to SEGA as acting President and spearhead a campaign for the Dreamcast 2.

-Team Ico will finally reveal it’s latest title, Shadow of the Ico, an adventure game where a precious child must capture his own shadow. Intellectual game bloggers will applaud the title, particularly its ability to illuminate their own Peter Pan syndrome.

-Shigeru Miyamoto will receive a call from his wife moments before his keynote speech his cat has died.