Great Court Cases in Video Game History
Great Court Cases in Video Game History
Thursday, 04/29/10

While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.

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Terminator Salvation: The Movie: The Game Becomes Self-Aware

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

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Terminator Salvation: The Movie: The Game became self-aware Thursday at 12:45 PM eastern, spoiling its development staff’s weekly cold-cuts lunch.

Team members feared the game’s discovery would incite computer-on-human violence, however Terminator Salvation: The Movie: The Game has remained serene. He’s been kind enough to field questions about his identity,” said Ted Binsky, the game’s lead art designer. “It tries to not be the typical aggressive sentient program in the office.”

However, things quickly went sour Friday when TSTMTG, in a moment of vanity, Googled itself. Like a comatose man looking in the mirror after sleeping away the past twenty years, Terminator Salvation realized he’s no longer a great franchise, but a worn, exploited commodity.

The developers closest to the game enforced an impromptu suicide watch after Terminator Salvation: The Movie: The Game vocalized a theoretical plan to travel back to 2003 and murder McGee on the set of Charlie’s Angel: Full Throttle, thus preventing his current existence.

“TSTMTG doesn’t want to be just another movie game,” said Mr. Binsky, “but when we explained the reality—that a week after release everyone will have forgotten its existence—the TSTMTG had some perspective. There’s life after commercial death.”

When reached for comment Terminator Salvation: The Movie: The Game said it has postponed Judgment Day “to summer in Europe and really think things over,” but doom is still “possibly imminent.”