Jack Perris, 23, wasted no time trying out the new features of his Nintendo DSi yesterday. The DSi, released with great fanfare and promotion, added downloadable games, larger screens, and two cameras to Nintendo’s already-popular Nintendo DS. Mr. Perris is believed to have examined the new game console, taken “unboxing” pictures for his Flickr friends, and then immediately used the DSi to photograph his penis.

When asked for comment, Perris said, “Listen, what else was I going to take a picture of? Look, I can put a mustache on it. Ha! My dong is French now!”

Nintendo PR did not have an immediate response, although their press release touts the DSi’s revolutionary two cameras, one on the inside and one on the outside, as being exciting new methods to engross players in their games.

When asked what his future plans were for his DSi, Perris expressed great excitement about the upcoming camera-enabled Wario Ware game. “I’m totally gonna play that… with my cock!”

Mr. Perris offered to show this reporter a rudimentary animation of his penis dancing with Luigi, but the reporter declined. A psychiatrist contacted for this story said that such behavior is common in boys ages 7-10, who are first exploring their sexuality, and Nintendo fans, whose psychological development is stunted around that age.