Despite repeated warnings from Grandma and Grandpa that someone is going to gets hurt one of these days, the three Middlebacher children snuck into their grandparent’s attic again this morning and released Sinistar from his chest.

“It’s really fun when he chases us around the neighborhood while shouting stuff,” said Aurora, who at seven is the youngest of the grandkids. “Grandpa used to do that, but he’s been really slow since his back surgery. Besides, Sinistar goes a lot faster than Grandpa ever could!”

Sinistar, a skeletal being made entirely of the crystal Sinisite, is kept in a large oak chest in the attic, next to a coat rock and an antique wooden train set.

Though none of the children have been injured yet, neighbors have concerns for the children’s safety. Bill Greaves, a retired airline pilot, took a brief break from his word puzzles to recall an incident that took place Friday evening: “…I was hosing down the front porch when I saw this skeleton head floating around, looking lost. He kept saying, ‘I’m hungry!’ So I put my hose down and walked on over to it and tried to show it that I didn’t mean it no harm. It looked at me for a second, then it grabbed a hold of my arm and started gnawing on it! Thank the good Lord someone filed its teeth down, but who in their right mind lets kids play with something like that? Either they got to start feeding that thing more, or keep it in its chest, where it belongs.”

“Oh, it’s harmless,” Grandma told Hardcasual while she made some lemonade. “That Sinistar has been in my family for over twenty years. If it bites you, it’s just being playful. My only concern is that little Aurora is gonna trip and break something, she runs so fast.”

After a few hours of playing hide-and-go-seek, the three Middlebacher children returned home with the Sinistar in tow. Following procedure, the oldest, Guen, coaxed the floating skull up into the attic and put him back in the chest. As we waited downstairs for their mother to pick them up, we could faintly hear the muffled sounds of Sinistar upstairs calling us all cowards.