How many times did this conversation about the t-shirt take place over the course of the two and a half hour party in Sheila’s backyard? A dozen times, at least. Friends, family, the hired help – no one was spared the explanation. Those who made the mistake of lingering near the drink table rarely returned, and those who did did so hastily, as if a horde of wild animals was about to stampede through and there was only two minutes to pour a vodka cranberry.
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With God of War III’s release, the Kratos Trilogy has finally come to a close. While Hardcasual is really going to miss all the foot-slashing, we know that these are things a “mature” person shouldn’t enjoy. (And certainly no one under the age of eighteen.) We haven’t played it yet, though, because we plan on importing the Chinese version of the game: Mr. Bald’s Jumprope Tag Adventure!
1. Fingerbanging
2. Crab-Itching
3. Dick-Slapping
4. Shooting Up Black Tar Heroin
5. Fishing Shat-Out Drug-Filled Condoms From Toilet
6. Full Body Cavity Search
7. Prostate Exam (optional “Doctor” pathway)
8. Jizz-mopping
9. Fisting
10. Anal Fisting
Detroit, Michigan
Gordon Freelander spotted chasing paparazzi off his driveway, who were snapping pictures of him as he fixed up his cherry red 1976 Ford Mustang.
So I was wondering, Mr. Siegel – what exactly is this “gamerscore” you have listed under “awards and achievements” on your resume? It seems like quite a large number – 24,550 as of 12/12/09, you say – but I can’t say that I can place it under any of the references I’ve seen before. I don’t know who or what this Ga-mere is – am I saying it correctly? Gah-mayre? Gay-murr? Is it a standardized test? A college competition?
11:43 PM — A frazzled mother who had been in line for over an hour asked the two teenagers in place behind her to “save her place” while she “checked on her baby in the car.”
“Then why aren’t you kids having fun? Don’t you like games anymore?”
Alex, the birthday boy, who no one had seen or heard approaching the table, spoke up in his loudest voice, “YEAH, LIKE FARMVILLE!” The Mitchell family jumped in their seats, as if startled by a gunshot. “I DON’T LIKE PLAYING THOSE GAMES BECAUSE YOU DON’T GET ACHIEVEMENTS OR ANYTHING SO NO ONE KNOWS HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT THEM.”
Dalaran, 23:10 GMT
As they washed Hippogryph shit out of their Tier 7 helms, two tauren adventurers promised themselves that they’d never exchange jewelcrafting tips beneath a flight path ever again.