Brad Goodings, an unemployed tech consultant living in Burbank, CA who has been playing Everquest since its release in 1999, has finally managed to bully the three other people that were still playing on the role playing server Firiona Vie to quit their accounts, and now has the entire server to himself.

“It took me a decade to get those jerks off of my server, but I think it was well worth it,” Mr. Goodings said in a rare out-of-character interview with Hardcasual. “My character, Darzurian Peacekiller, is a mad wizard who was out to conquer Norrath, so it only makes sense that from day one he would be trying get rid of anyone who wasn’t willing to cave to his incredibly selfish demands.”

“He would send me private messages about how his dog was dying or how his mother was ruining his life and kept telling me that if I didn’t quit the game he would kill himself,” said Jennifer Bray, one of the three players who recently quit the game because of Mr. Goodings. “I must have reported him a hundred times, but each time SOE reviewed his account he would send them pages and pages of fan fiction about his character that supposedly detailed how it was all part of his roleplaying.”

“I’ll admit that at times Darzurian Peacekiller did some things that I would never do, but I think that’s the point of roleplaying,” Mr. Goodings replied. “Listen, I gave everyone on that server the option of becoming my slave and only like, two people ever did it. I would send them out on quests to conquer various parts of the world and they never complained. It didn’t end up working out, sadly. They both turned out to be fourteen years old, which I guess is a really illegal in this state or something. Wouldn’t be illegal in Norrath, is all I’m gonna say.”

Now that Mr. Goodings has conquered his server, he plans to declare himself king for life and rule the world with an iron fist. “I know that it’s not likely that any of the NPCs are going to cause Darzurian Peacekiller any trouble, but I don’t want to take any chances.” He is currently writing a twenty-page story that he plans to send to Sony Entertainment about how his character has cast a spell that prevents any new players from joining the server.