Meat Bun T-shirt Being Explained to Everyone at Party
Friday, 03/12/10

How many times did this conversation about the t-shirt take place over the course of the two and a half hour party in Sheila’s backyard? A dozen times, at least. Friends, family, the hired help – no one was spared the explanation. Those who made the mistake of lingering near the drink table rarely returned, and those who did did so hastily, as if a horde of wild animals was about to stampede through and there was only two minutes to pour a vodka cranberry.

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Eddie Murphy Killed in Filming of “Left 4 Dead” Film

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Eddie Murphy, 47, star of stand-up comedy and film, was killed this morning in an accident on the set of the film adaptation of the video game Left 4 Dead, currently filming in Los Angeles, CA.

The cause of death appears to have been a special effects mishap. Murphy, playing the role of Louis in the fast-tracked adaptation, was struck by a massive concrete slab and thrown from a helicopter in the film’s penultimate scene. Paramedics arrived on the scene immediately, but were unable to revive him, as first aid on the scene consisted entirely of large rolls of bandages.

Murphy’s death has been the latest setback in a film plagued with problems. Early in filming, another cast member was forced to drop out of filming. Katie Holmes, playing fellow survivor “Zoey”, was left hanging from a building’s edge for nearly 2 hours before a crew member noticed.

When asked about the Holmes incident, director Uwe Boll issued a statement to the media saying “We had moved on – we needed to keep going, with or without Zoey. If she gets stuck on a ledge, well, maybe she can rejoin later in the filming. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

Additionally, Murphy’s own on-set behavior was the subject of much Hollywood gossip. Sources close to the production had intimated Murphy was a frequent pain pill user, and that his own health seemed to be deteriorating over the course of his use.

Murphy was also rumored to have been attempting to supply his castmates with pain pills. When asked about the rumors, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, playing “The Tank” in the film, said, “Eddie was just achievement-boosting. Anything else is a rumor, plain and simple.”

The troubled production is rumored to still be planning to reach its final conclusion with its remaining stars, Mickey Rourke, as Bill, and country singer Toby Keith, as Francis.

Plans have been announced to memorialize Murphy in the film’s end credits.