Meat Bun T-shirt Being Explained to Everyone at Party
Friday, 03/12/10

How many times did this conversation about the t-shirt take place over the course of the two and a half hour party in Sheila’s backyard? A dozen times, at least. Friends, family, the hired help – no one was spared the explanation. Those who made the mistake of lingering near the drink table rarely returned, and those who did did so hastily, as if a horde of wild animals was about to stampede through and there was only two minutes to pour a vodka cranberry.

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11 Items Considered for “50 Cent: Blood in the Sand” Before Settling on A Jewel-Encrusted Skull

Friday, December 5, 2008

jeweledskull11

50 Cent: Blood in the Sand has had a long, troubled road to its January release. Dropped in the Blizzard-Activision merger, players almost never had the chance to play the rollicking and timely adventure, in which 50 Cent takes on the majority of the scary brown people from “unnamed middle eastern country” to win back the JEWEL ENCRUSTED SKULL he was promised for playing a concert.

You see the part I’m excited about. But Hardcasual can reveal exclusively today that the Jewel Encrusted Skull you seek was not, in fact, the development team’s first choice. A leaked internal memo has revealed the iterations that the game went through, and in the interest of spreading some knowledge about the genius that went into this game, we’re publishing it in full.

1. Leigh Alexander’s Earrings
2. Lara Croft n00d code
3. A Klondike® Bar
4.Game Journalists’ Testicles
5. Numbers 38-49 of the Pitchfork 500
6. High MetaCritic Score
7. T-Pain’s Jewel Encrusted AutoTune Microphone
8. The Princess from Braid
9. A Big Daddy Suit
10. Dan Akroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka
11. Relevance