While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
NBA 2k11 will be the first game to feature the groundbreaking, physics based, Sausage Stylin’ System. For the first time, players’ shorts won’t be the only thing flapping in the breeze as players make their way down the court. Now players will have a little more substance in their skivvies, as each will be accurately endowed with the very essence of manly-hood. Not only will players bob and weave just like their real life counterparts, but now so will their junk.
This is a me, Mario. I like-a to wear my fireball outfit all the time. I don’t know when it-a started happening. Maybe a couple years ago is-a when I started pocketing fire flowers and eating them at home. My brother, he says it’s because I eat too many-a mushrooms and it warp my brain, but I don’t believe him.
Axe Bodyspray has been around since 1983, which is around the time that the Famicom came out in Japan. In a way, the two have intertwining destinies. Without Axe Bodyspray, there would be no Famicom. Without the Famicom, there would be no Axe Bodyspray. The point is that Axe Bodyspray has a lot to do with video games.
Sam hates when the wall tells him to floss. He never liked flossing when he was a kid. He’s seen a lot of blood in his lifetime, but something about blood coming out of his own gumline gives him a case of the shivers. The walls never hounded him about it until last June, when his dentist, Dr. Mettso, gave him shit about the number of root canals he’d need. FLOSS, it says, but he ignores it and walks back into the bedroom.
He takes a long swig of his beer, then falls backwards off his barstool. When he lands on the floor, he quickly shouts, “I’m not drunk! I’m jussst lookin’ to see if anyone dropped their iPhone 4G down here! Looks like… Nope, nope, not yet. Barkeep, you wanna top this one off? Looks like stthomebody sthpilled a bit.”
You think this is a game, maggots? Everything’s a game to your generation. Well, we’ll see who can play a game. We’ll see who has the highest score in a little game I like to call Shovel In Your Fuckin’ Neck!
“Look,” Daniel said, leaning forward on the couch, “there’s a lot of sentimental value. I never told you this, but my brother and I would get up early on Saturday mornings and just play together all day. You know how things are between us now, well, it just reminds me of a better,” he paused to sniff, “it just reminds me of when we were closer, y’know.” He covered his face with his hand, and turned away from Shelly. She didn’t buy it. Not for a goddamn second.
Hardcasual prides itself on a one year legacy of providing readers with AAA content on a daily basis and believes, in the case of Hardcausal’s Splinter Cell Conviction Joke, a few extra months in development will allow for that legacy to continue.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
I totally wanted one of these when I was a kid. They were basically the coolest thing in the world – and now, I look at it, and it just fills me up with all these feelings that I haven’t had since then. I mean, remember when you were excited about things? When everything seemed to be going your way?
Axe Bodyspray has been around since 1983, which is around the time that the Famicom came out in Japan. In a way, the two have intertwining destinies. Without Axe Bodyspray, there would be no Famicom. Without the Famicom, there would be no Axe Bodyspray. The point is that Axe Bodyspray has a lot to do with video games.
“This is the kind of behavior we see among the most delusional players,” said Dr. Ng, “Most of these players were just mashing ‘fierce punch’ as hard as they could and occasionally pulled off a quarter-circle turn. Once they’re faced with online competition… Well, they may be in for a terrible shock.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.